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Once
there was a mountain man,
Whose friends hatched up a wicked plan.
They rubbed old cheese into his beard,
While fast asleep, making him smell weird.
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His mountain cabin smelled so foul,
It made the dog lay eggs and the chickens howl.
With this, the man flew out of bed,
And wouldn't you know, he hit his head.
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He grabbed his gun to blast the skunk,
He knew must be beneath his bunk.
No skunk was there or anywhere.
What was this smell that filled the air?
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He vowed to turn things upside down,
Until the stinker could be found.
He would trash whatever caused the odor,
Or his girl friend would not come over.
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Was something in the kitchen burning?
Or was the butter sour that he was churning?
A rotten egg? A bad sausage link?
No telling what's beneath the sink.
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No chance his socks were smelling so.
He'd washed them just six months ago.
Could old barn owl have brought inside,
A field mouse that had long since died?
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He looked in every nook and cranny,
And found a picture of his Granny.
He checked the rafters and the basement,
But found no reason for the foul scent.
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He washed the dog. Didn't help at all.
It only made him howl and bawl.
So in the tub went every cat.
He slipped and in the tub he sat.
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He opened all the windows wide,
But nothing really changed inside.
It seemed to come from everywhere.
Some say it even curled his hair.
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He rushed outside to get fresh air,
And couldn't believe what he found there.
All the neighbors heard his yells:
"This cannot be. The whole world smells!"
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At that same moment from on the roof,
Cold water came down with a swoosh!
He was as mad as a wet hen.
And down the water came again.
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He stomped and yelled and turned deep red,
And almost didn't hear what his friends said:
"Hey, stop a minute and sniff the air.
The world had changed. The smell's not there!"
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Why, sure enough, he could breathe free.
His friends then told the whole story.
The man exclaimed, "You fooled me well!
Now, let's all go in and talk a spell."
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Next time in church, when all were there,
The man heard Parson say something rare:
"When the world seems foul and near it's end,
The problem might just be you, my friend."
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